Danish CS:GO star Kristian ‘k0nfig’ Wienecke particulars his journey to restoration and self-improvement after being within the highlight for the mistaken causes as he goals to discover a new staff for 2023.
“I’m able to return,” k0nfig says with assurance.
He appears relaxed and content material with the place he’s at this level, a pointy distinction to how he felt simply two months in the past after the traumatic expertise that noticed him concern for his life. The moon boot defending his fractured proper ankle — which he’ll nonetheless must put on for an additional six weeks — is the one factor giving freely that he was concerned in a scuffle with a nightclub promoter in Malta, the place he was competing together with his then staff, Astralis, in ESL Professional League Season 16.
The incident price him his spot on Astralis’ staff, which missed him within the European RMR event and unsurprisingly didn’t qualify for the IEM Rio Main. It additionally pressured him to look inward and battle his demons.
k0nfig’s time with Astralis got here to an finish after only a 12 months
It’s not the primary time k0nfig has needed to resist such a battle. Earlier in his profession, he was held again by his outsized persona and work ethic, unable to appreciate the potential that many had seen in him when he burst onto the scene in 2015. “The tragedy of k0nfig” was how Duncan ‘Thorin’ Shields described his profession in a 2019 article printed on Dexerto, prompting an emotional response from the participant. “I’ve been a nasty skilled and spent my hours mistaken,” k0nfig wrote on Twitter at the time. “I’ve been an smug fool considering every thing would come straightforward which it by no means will. It’s very unhappy that it has reached this level earlier than I noticed it. I received’t look the opposite approach anymore and attempt to conceal. That is my return.”
On the floor, it might appear like k0nfig has relapsed and gone again to dangerous habits, however he insists that’s not the case. “In the event you put these two intervals subsequent to one another, I suppose it might really feel a bit of little bit of the identical,” he says. “However I don’t suppose my mentality, my focus, or my drive to play the sport are the best way they have been again then. I really feel just like the vanity and the issues that made me a nasty teammate have disappeared from my life.”
k0nfig says that he’s turning his scenario round with the assistance of a psychologist he sees two to a few occasions every week. He’s persevering with the method of non-public improvement that started years in the past, throughout his time on Dignitas and North, as he appears to be like to “tweak the little issues that make me a worse individual than I wish to be.”
He provides: “I wish to be a perfectionist in being teammate and man towards everybody. There are at all times issues to work on, and that’s what I’m doing proper now.”
I’ve stop ingesting and I am speaking to a psychologist weekly to get again on monitor and truly be who I actually am. I am sincerely sorry for my actions and I really feel so disgusted by my very own actions. It seems like I am simply going deeper and deeper.I will flip this round now.
— Kristian Wienecke (@k0nfig) October 18, 2022
In that journey of introspection, he additionally dug deep into the foundation causes of one other altercation that acquired him in bother. At IEM Cologne, one month earlier than the scuffle in Malta, he was reportedly intoxicated and behaved aggressively towards ESL broadcast expertise and lodge employees, with police known as to the scene.
“Consuming positively triggers one thing in me,” he says. “Once I’m too drunk and I occur to finish up in a scenario the place I really feel embarrassed or I really feel that somebody has performed one thing to me, I get actually emotional. If I don’t drink arduous liquor, like whiskey, I don’t get these emotions.
“So I made a decision that the very best answer is to cease ingesting and being up tremendous late. To be trustworthy, you don’t get that a lot from ingesting anyway. It’s only a protected haven to flee actual life. And I must face actual life to evolve into a special individual. That’s what I’m making an attempt to do. I’m going to take my life in a extra skilled approach and take into consideration the conditions I’m in and the individuals I’m with.”
For some time, k0nfig was one of the vital talked-about gamers within the CS:GO scene for the mistaken causes as he noticed a few of his darkest moments dissected in public over a number of information tales, each revealing just a bit extra about these episodes.
k0nfig thinks that the best way the media portrayed his habits in these two incidents was not completely right, although he admits there may be some remorse in calling Jaxon’s report about the Malta altercation “mostly BS” with out even explaining what wasn’t correct about it.
“I shouldn’t have written ‘principally bulls**t’ however ‘a bit of misunderstanding,’” he says now. “It positively felt like they tried to put in writing me because the aggressor. I did one thing mistaken, however it wasn’t like how they wrote within the article. So yeah, I remorse it a bit of bit, truthfully. I ought to have been a bit extra open. I felt that it was pointless for me to come back out and inform my aspect of the story as a result of it was simply so overwhelming for me as an individual.
“The incident that occurred in Cologne was simply me getting too drunk. It’s a bizarre scenario as a result of it felt prefer it may have simply been averted after which it escalated into one thing it shouldn’t have, and the media goes to put in writing it up prefer it’s some large factor that occurred. The opposite man and I talked it out and agreed that we will nonetheless converse to one another, smile, and provides one another fist bumps and stuff like that.”
k0nfig is decided to maneuver on from these episodes and be “an expert participant always” as he appears to be like to get his profession again on monitor. “Everybody makes errors. Mine have been simply public. It positively harm. I simply must get again to specializing in Counter-Strike and never make errors in my very own life.”
Leaving Astralis
“I mean-”
k0nfig pauses for just a few seconds as he thinks about reply.
The query was whether or not he was shocked that he was dismissed by Astralis within the aftermath of the Malta scuffle.
Reactions to his launch fell into two camps. There have been those that thought of that k0nfig deserved to be proven the door after being concerned in altercations, one among which probably price his staff a spot on the Main. However on the similar time, some argued that, by dismissing k0nfig, Astralis weren’t providing one among their most prized property the help and rehabilitation he wanted.
In saying k0nfig’s departure, Astralis stated that each events had “agreed on a cancellation” of the contract. Kasper Hvidt, Director of Sports activities at Astralis, defined that it was obligatory to present k0nfig “area and time [to recover] with out the fixed strain of getting to get again and play.”
k0nfig says that his former Astralis teammates are sorry that he’s out of the roster
In actuality, nevertheless, k0nfig seemingly had little say within the matter.
“I used to be a bit of bit shocked, to be trustworthy,” he notes. “I actually needed to be a part of the staff after I acquired some assist and my foot was healed. However I additionally perceive their determination to let me go as a result of it’s arduous for me to get again right into a staff after I allow them to down like that, earlier than the Main qualifier.
“I positively imagine that the choice was made by the group. I don’t suppose it was made by the gamers.”
k0nfig says that he exchanged transient messages together with his teammates after the incident and that they have been all very supportive of him.
“They needed to want me good luck with the surgical procedures,” he says. “I love everybody on the staff. I feel they’re actually good guys. They stated they’re sorry that I’m not coming again to them.”
k0nfig spent almost a 12 months with Astralis after signing with the group in November 2021 alongside his Complexity teammate and compatriot Benjamin ‘blameF’ Bremer. They arrived throughout a transition interval for a staff that had misplaced Nicolai ‘gadget’ Reedtz earlier that 12 months and was making an attempt to begin a brand new period as Peter ‘dupreeh’ Rasmussen, Emil ‘Magisk’ Reif and Danny ‘zonic’ Sørensen have been additionally on their approach out.
The primary impressions have been spectacular as Astralis positioned third on the BLAST Premier Fall Last, in Copenhagen, however it went downhill from there. A semi-final run at IEM Cologne 2022 was one of many few elite tournaments the place the staff managed to achieve the playoffs. At PGL Main Antwerp, they may not even transcend the Challenger Stage.
Individually, k0nfig’s type suffered from peaks and falls. In some tournaments, he was the staff’s second star and the principal wingman to blameF; in others, he struggled to even publish above-average numbers.
That is the rationale, k0nfig explains, that he revealed in the summer that he had been “mentally up and down”. He says that it was arduous for him to seek out consistency in his sport and construct confidence in a staff the place he was continuously the one who needed to discover options to unlock video games — pointing to the struggles skilled by the AWPers, Philip ‘Fortunate’ Ewald after which Asger ‘Farlig’ Jensen.
“I feel there was a bit of bit of bewilderment of roles inside the staff,” he says. “We had too many defensive gamers, so I needed to do one thing aggressive on a regular basis. And naturally, our AWPers had a tough time, Farlig and likewise Fortunate.
“I felt like I needed to do extra stuff for the staff than really specializing in myself. I needed to take possibilities. I felt like after I had dangerous video games, opponents have been simply shutting me all the way down to keep away from me stepping into good conditions. And the remainder of the staff was a bit of bit too passive for me to get into good positions. So after I acquired shut down in video games, it felt prefer it was only a passive staff.”
There was a sure sense of irony that Astralis re-signed Nicolai ‘gadget’ Reedtz after k0nfig was gone. The Danish AWPer, who’s getting back from a 12 months away from motion as a consequence of psychological well being causes, is precisely the form of participant k0nfig wished he had by his aspect throughout his time on the staff to take a few of the load off of him.
It was the second time in k0nfig’s profession that he had missed a possible career-defining second. The primary had been in 2018, when he was on Astralis’ shortlist to affix the staff after Markus ‘Kjaerbye’ Kjærbye’s sudden departure. In the long run, zonic picked Magisk after being left unimpressed by k0nfig’s angle through the interview course of. That staff went on to ascertain a dynasty.
“It seems like I’m establishing tripwires to make issues tougher for me,” he says. “It seems like each single time I’m near having success, I’m stumbling over one thing, making a mistake and doing one thing silly.
“I’ve been speaking to my psychologist about altering my views and the way I behave in conditions the place there’s the chance that I mess up. We’ve been speaking about how I ought to suppose extra about my life, give attention to feeling good and being pleased, and take away the conditions the place I could make errors. And likewise share my trustworthy opinion. That’s actually vital for me as effectively.
“I’ve positively been establishing tripwires for myself, however I’m slowly taking them down.”
Even supposing his Astralis tenure ended on a bitter observe, k0nfig doesn’t shut the door on a return to the staff, be it now or someday sooner or later. He says that dev1ce’s return alone won’t repair every thing and that the staff will nonetheless want somebody similar to him to return to the highest.
“It’s positively unhappy that I missed out on that chance, however I feel that there’s nonetheless a approach for me to grind and perhaps get the chance to as soon as once more,” he says. “I don’t suppose that the door is shut. I really feel just like the door continues to be open.”
“I do know it would sound a bit humorous, however getting kicked by Astralis has ignited a hearth in me. When you’ve the sensation in your physique that you just simply wish to let go and stop, and then you definitely notice that isn’t what life is supposed to be for you, then you definitely positively really feel the motivation at its highest.”
In the event that they invited him again at this time, would he take the supply?
“I feel I might, to be trustworthy,” he says. “I nonetheless suppose that Astralis is an effective staff. They’ve performed so many good issues for me as a person and as a participant. I positively really feel like I can forgive they usually can forgive as effectively. We’re all grown-ups. Typically errors occur, each from my finish and theirs.
“So sure, I’d be capable to forgive and neglect.”
Returning to motion
No matter how a lot k0nfig want to have one other likelihood with Astralis, he received’t sit again and anticipate the telephone to ring. He’s already taking the steps to bounce again, taking part in FACEIT pugs, Deathmatch, surf maps and KZ day by day to maintain his expertise sharp with a view to returning to competitors when the brand new season begins in 2023.
He has been approached by a variety of groups and organizations, however he’ll wait a while earlier than making a call on his future as he waits for extra affords to come back. He says he has no desire between a Danish staff or a world mission, stating that his precedence is to discover a group of gamers with whom he can construct a rapport — one thing that was a bit lacking on Astralis, the place he says he by no means really felt at dwelling.
“I wish to be a part of a well-built staff the place I really feel like I belong, with 5 gamers who’re dynamic collectively,” he says. “I wish to really feel that there’s a friendship between teammates from the get-go and that it’s a house for me. You realize, like once you be a part of the server or once you’re in a event and also you simply wish to obtain the identical issues. That’s what I need.”
k0nfig says he nonetheless has so much to realize in his profession
k0nfig says that he has the blessing of his psychologist to begin searching for a staff and compete once more, however that doesn’t imply the tip of the remedy periods. “I’m nonetheless going to make use of her as a rock to get the remainder out of my system,” he says, difficult any staff that doubts his resolve and psychological state to achieve out.
“I wish to play,” he says. “I really feel like my life, proper now, is the proper scenario. I’ve tousled. I’ve forgiven [myself]. I positively suppose that it’s the fitting name.”
k0nfig is decided to point out that he has navigated this impediment in his life and is dedicated to self-improvement in his private life. He desires his sport to be the one factor he’s recognized for and let the opposite stuff, the outside-the-game antics, the dangerous rap, and the distractions, prior to now.
Contained in the server, he additionally believes that he’s nonetheless evolving. Oozing his trademark confidence, he says that he nonetheless feels on the peak of his particular person powers.
“I don’t suppose I’m previous my prime,” he says. “I nonetheless suppose I can outplay everybody and dominate the server,” he says. “I really feel like I’ve not but develop into the participant I wish to be. In fact, being within the prime 20 HLTV participant rating once more can be very nice individually, however I additionally wish to show that I can enhance groups and make them a greater unit. I wish to win tournaments, so there’s so much that I wish to obtain.”
